


It's Gonna Be Love

by elless



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Boys Being Idiots, Drunk Sex, Eddie really is an idiot, Eddie refusing to deal with feelings, M/M, casual sex that’s not so casual, very brief mention of the death of a child (not firefam)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27223753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elless/pseuds/elless
Summary: A drunk hookup in a bar leads to more than Eddie ever expected with his best friend.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 403





	It's Gonna Be Love

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in April after I binged the show for the first time. I didn't think I'd ever finish and post this sucker!

Eddie slumps against the wall between the dartboards, listing slightly sideways. That last beer might’ve been too much. Or maybe he should’ve eaten the cheesy fries Maddie offered to him before she left with Chimney. _Mm, cheesy fries._ Wait. What was he doing? Right.

“Would you throw the damn dart already? Been waiting an hour.”

“Shut up. I’m concentrating.”

Buck squints one eye and then the other, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth. It’s adorable. Or something.

He finally throws the dart, hitting the outer edge of the bull’s eye. Dammit. Drunk Buck is better than sober Eddie. Annoying.

“Should play poker,” Eddie slurs, scrunching his nose as Buck’s other darts thunk into the board almost on top of the first. “I’d take you in poker.”

“Yeah? You think so?”

“I’d take you so hard.”

“Like to see you try.”

Something about this conversation seems familiar, but Eddie can’t connect the dots because Buck is sauntering over to him in a way that makes Eddie’s heart rate speed up. He can’t help but notice how Buck's jeans are hugging his thighs. Eddie blinks and Buck’s suddenly standing in front of him, one hand on the wall by Eddie’s head, so close he can feel Buck’s breath ghosting over his cheek. He stares at Buck’s pretty mouth and licks his lips, realizing a beat too late that he’s not supposed to do that, to look at his best friend like he wants to eat him. Because he does, so very badly, wants to dive in to Buck’s everything and not come up for air.

“Eddie.”

Buck’s somehow even closer now, head tilted down, palm spread on Eddie’s back under his shirt. When did that happen? It doesn’t matter, because Buck’s mouth is on his, demanding and hard. Eddie straightens, gets his hands in Buck’s soft hair. He can’t think, can’t concentrate on anything except Buck’s tongue in his mouth and his need to get closer, for _more_.

Eddie manages to pull away to breathe. “Buck, we shouldn’t—we should stop.” Shouldn’t they?

Buck pants against his cheek, hand dragging up Eddie’s spine to play with the short hairs at the back of his head. “Right. Yeah. Should go home.”

“Separately.”

“Right.”

Which is how they end up in a bathroom stall, Buck sucking kisses into Eddie’s neck. He drops to his knees and shoves Eddie’s jeans and boxers down. He looks up at Eddie with a wicked grin, then sucks the head of his dick into his mouth.

“Oh, Jesus.” Biting his lips to muffle his groans, he hopes no one walks into the bathroom. Thank god their friends all left ages ago.

Buck backs off and smirks and then he’s sucking for all he’s worth, moaning like Eddie’s dick is the best thing he’s ever had in his mouth. Eddie closes his eyes, one hand in Buck’s hair and one gripping the top of the stall door or else his knees might give out.

He comes so hard he bangs his head on the wall of the stall and whimpers when Buck licks a stray drop of come off his bottom lip because holy hell, that was hot as _fuck_. Buck climbs to his feet and claims Eddie’s mouth in a fantastically filthy kiss.

Eddie hasn’t done anything like this in years, but he remembers enough to get his hands down Buck’s pants. The sound of the zipper is loud, but Eddie has stopped caring about being overheard. His focus is on Buck mouthing along his jaw and the feel of Buck, hard and heavy, in his hand. He jacks Buck without much finesse, but Buck writhes against him, rocking his hips and gasping _oh god_ into Eddie’s neck. It seems over in a blink, not nearly long enough, before Buck comes over his fist, then slumps onto his chest. Eddie nudges his head up for a kiss. This is slower, now that the lust cloud has dissipated, almost tender, and Eddie flees from that thought before it can take hold. Buck pulls back and grins at him.

_Fuck. What did we just do?_

*

Eddie quickly bypasses the table where Buck's sitting with Hen and drops onto the opposite end of the couch from Chimney. He ignores Buck’s hurt expression, pretending to be engrossed in whatever TV show Chimney is watching. He’s been silently freaking out for a few days about what happened at the bar, enduring the teasing from Hen and Chimney about the marks on his neck. He hopes the bruises disappear quickly, if only because they make him want things he shouldn’t. It doesn’t stop him from touching the spots and remembering Buck’s big body wrapped around him.

Keeping it professional at work is mostly easy, as long as he avoids him when they’re not on calls. But being away from Buck is slowly killing him inside. He doesn’t know what to do.

Eddie jumps, jolting back to the present by his phone going off in his pocket. He fishes it out, surprised to see a text from Buck. He’d stopped texting and calling after Eddie didn’t answer any of them. Seeing Buck’s name makes his stomach swoop in an alarming way he’d rather not explore. Rubbing a hand over his face, he unlocks his phone, drawn to read this one just like the others, even if he never responded. The message is a cartoon of a man holding a sign that says _you can’t ignore me. I’ve sucked your dick_. Eddie barks out a laugh. Chimney isn’t close enough to see the screen, but anyone could be walking up behind where he’s sitting on the couch. He angles the phone toward his stomach as it buzzes in his hand. Another message from Buck.

_Can we talk after shift?_

He glances up and sees Buck watching him. He gives an infinitesimal nod, stomach clenching at Buck’s shy smile. _Shit_. Guess his time of avoidance is over. 

Luckily their day is pretty busy with calls. They barely have time to bolt down food and replenish supplies before the alarm sounds again. It distracts him from thinking about Buck, except when their shoulders brush in the truck or when Buck grins at him after they save a little girl from drowning. His heart races each time. He _can’t_ lose this, the ease they have while working, how they seem to think with one mind. They’ve got to figure out how to navigate the weirdness between them, though now he realizes he was causing most of that weirdness.

Buck waits for him by his jeep, leaning against the side in a way that somehow emphasizes his stupidly long legs and muscular arms. He’s nervously drumming his fingers on the door. Eddie swallows. It comforts him to know Buck’s as anxious as he is.

Eddie slows then stops, his heart suddenly in his throat. Buck really is beautiful. Eddie gets the urge to smooth the lines on Buck’s forehead with his thumbs and curls his hands into fists so he won’t touch him. He can’t, at least not here, where people are still leaving, chatting and joking around them.

“Buck.”

Buck’s head snaps up and he smiles, but it quickly morphs into an expression Eddie can’t read.

“Hi,” Eddie says.

“Hey.” Buck straightens, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“So, your place or mine?” _Christ_. He didn’t mean for that to sound so suggestive.

“What about Chris?”

“I already let Carla know I’d probably be a little late.”

Buck raises an eyebrow. “Okay. Mine then, I guess. I still have some of that craft beer you liked.”

“Uh, beer might not be a good idea.” Eddie blushes and an image of Buck flashes through his mind, of Buck on his knees, mouth working Eddie’s cock like he couldn’t get enough. Fuck. He probably wouldn’t ever be able to drink beer again without memories of that night haunting him.

“Oh. Right. Um.” He bounces his keys in his palm. “You could—you could follow me home?”

Eddie nods. That way he’d have his car in case he needs to run away.

Buck stands by the door to his building so they can walk up to his apartment together. Eddie trails him on the stairs, reluctant for this conversation, though he knows they have to have it. Once inside, Buck tosses his keys on the table and rubs the back of his neck.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Buck asks.

“No. I’m good.”

They share a tense silence, then both talk at once. Eddie stops and gestures for Buck to go ahead.

Buck blows out a breath, crossing his arms and leaning against the table. “I don’t—I don’t regret what we did. I’m upset because you’re upset, but I don’t regret what happened.”

“I’m not upset, Buck. I just don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“But it’s already ruined!” Eddie rears back, and Buck’s eyes widen. “Shit. I didn't mean it that way. But once the dick’s out of the pants, you can’t shove it back in and pretend it never happened.”

“Christ, Buck,” Eddie says, amused despite the awkward situation.

“I like you, Eddie. I want you.”

He’s surprised by Buck’s honest, simple statement, but maybe he shouldn’t be.

“Me too.”

“Okay. So why can’t we start there?” He pushes off the table and advances on Eddie by the door. “And deal with everything else as it comes up?”

“Just that easy, huh?” Buck is close now, almost close enough to touch.

“Everything else between us has been easy.”

Eddie smirks. “Once you stopped being a grumpy asshole when we met.”

Buck’s smile turns wicked, and he crowds Eddie against the door, framing Eddie’s hips with his big hands.

“Your hotness smacked me in the face. I went a bit crazy.”

 _That long?_ Eddie thinks, and _why did it take us so long to get here?_ And then Buck is kissing him, and his focus narrows to Buck’s mouth on his, the silky feel of Buck’s hair as it slips through his fingers, Buck’s incredible heat surrounding him, because _holy hell_. He’s never been kissed this thoroughly in his life. Buck sucks a kiss into the hollow of Eddie’s throat, rocking against him.

“Wait,” Eddie pants.

“Wait?” Buck looks befuddled and gorgeously mussed, and so fucking sexy. He forces himself to think of Chris so he won’t dive back in.

“I don’t want to start something we can’t finish. I have to get Chris still.”

“Right.”

Well, he has to kiss Buck’s disappointment away. Buck melts against him. It’s another long while before Eddie’s sense of responsibility surfaces again and he’s able to detach himself from Buck’s mouth.

“I really should go. I have to pick up Chris.”

“Okay,” Buck says, but he doesn’t let go of Eddie’s hips, running his nose alongside Eddie’s and kissing him again.

It’s so tempting to stay, so tempting to sink into Buck’s warmth and let Buck lead him wherever he wants to go.

With effort, he wrenches away from Buck’s mouth and steps back, putting a hand against Buck’s chest when he goes to follow.

“I gotta get Chris. We’ll continue this another time.”

“We better.”

Eddie smiles the whole way over to Carla’s.

*

“I can’t wait until everyone leaves,” Buck says between kisses, rucking up Eddie’s shirt and skimming his palms across his abs.

Eddie shivers, pulling Buck closer even though he shouldn’t. All their friends are on the other side of the kitchen door, waiting for them to bring out more chips and beer. He hums in agreement against Buck’s mouth. They’ve been doing this hookup? thing for a few weeks now, but between work and Chris and their friends they haven’t found time to do much besides quick blowjobs or hand jobs, and Eddie’s getting as frustrated as Buck. There are dozens of texts on his phone that he should get rid of, detailing all the things Buck wants to do when they have privacy and a bed.

Eddie has _plans_ for Buck. Their friends just need to leave first.

“We should get back before they wonder what we’re doing,” Eddie says, titling his head back so Buck can lick the hollow of his throat, and tangles his fingers in Buck’s hair.

“Mm-hm.” Buck kisses his way back to Eddie’s mouth and presses closer so they’re plastered together from chest to thighs.

This is dangerous. Anyone could walk into the kitchen any minute, and they can’t exactly play off what they’re doing as anything but hardcore making out and grinding on each other. Eddie’s not ready for people to know about them, but he can’t resist Buck’s mouth or the hand teasing at his belt.

Eventually [the need to breathe] forced them apart, and some distant, responsible part of Eddie convinces him to step back, breaking Buck’s hold on him. He swallows hard, then snorts.

“You’re a mess,” he says, reaching out to smooth down Buck’s disheveled hair.

They’ve just put themselves more or less to rights when the door swings open and Chimney walks in.

“What are you guys doing in here?” he asks, giving them a narrow-eyed stare.

“Um, just needed a break from everybody?”

That is the worst excuse Buck has ever come up with, but Chimney seems to buy it. He nods like it’s the logical explanation.

“They are pretty chaotic and loud.”

“ _They’re_ loud?” Chim's the most competitive Jenga player he’s ever seen. There have been injuries in the past.

“Whatever. Maddie says you have bottles of the sparkling water she likes?”

“In the fridge, yeah. I’ll grab it.”

“You okay? You look a bit flushed.”

Luckily Eddie has his head in the fridge when Chimney asks Buck this. He chokes back a laugh and grabs a bottle of the flavored water Maddie’s been craving for weeks.

“Uh, yep. Fine.”

Eddie gathers up the beer they came in for too and then they follow Chimney back into the living room, where their friends are egging on Karen as she chooses which Jenga piece to withdraw.

Everyone finally heads out a couple hours later. Eddie got caught up in their various games, but he couldn’t stop sneaking glances at Buck or imagining what he’s going to do to Buck once he gets his hands on him.

“You’re not leaving?” Hen asks, hanging on the doorjamb to poke her head back inside.

“Uh, no. I’m––I’m gonna help Eddie clean up.”

It’s a perfectly good excuse, but he blushes. Hen raises an eyebrow and opens her mouth, but Karen yanks on her sleeve to get her moving. Buck closes the door after Maddie, the last one out, then sags against it. Eddie stands in front of him, and Buck’s arms automatically circle around his waist to draw him closer. He [mouths] along Buck’s jaw and up to his mouth.

“We should clean,” Buck says when he breaks away to pant against Eddie’s cheek.

“Later. Come on. I need you.” Threading their fingers together, he tugs Buck away from the door. 

*

The call was normal but goes to shit faster than Eddie can yell, “Buck, no!”

Eddie runs, legs pumping, but it’s too late. It’s too late. He watches as the rocks give way and Buck disappears over the side of the cliff. He puts on a burst of speed. Adrenaline sends tingles down his arms into his fingers. He hits the ground on his belly and peers over the edge.

They’d already rescued the climber. Hen and Chimney pulled out five minutes ago. He and Buck were off the ropes, gathering equipment and packing it away.

Eddie understands how emergencies happen, how things can go from okay to _oh shit_ in moments. But all that flies out of his head in the seconds between seeing Buck fall and finding him sprawled on a ledge less than five feet from the cliff top. He looks a little dazed, and a scrape stands out livid red on his cheekbone, but otherwise seems unharmed.

“You’re a lucky son-of-a-bitch, you know that?”

Buck waves, gingerly standing up.

“You okay?”

“Just rattled. I don’t think anything’s broken. Gimme a hand up.”

Since Buck’s a freaking giant, he easily reaches up to clasp Eddie’s hand and scrambles back up.

Eddie’s okay while he checks Buck over and cleans the cut on his face. He’s okay in the truck on the way back to the station, laughing at Buck’s rambling comments. But when they arrive back at the station, he freezes in his seat, unable to force his legs to move. He sucks in a breath, then lets it out slowly.

“Hey, are you all right?”

He startles, only now noticing Buck stayed in the truck with him.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he admits quietly. “I saw you go over and I thought—” He can’t finish, clenching the edge of the seat so tightly his fingers ache.

“Hey.” Buck slides across to sit beside him and gently pries one of Eddie’s hands from the cushion and links their fingers. “I’m fine,” he says, voice soft. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

Eddie snorts, because he constantly worries about Buck, who attracts danger like a bee to honey. It’s part of their job, of course, but shit happens to Buck far too often.

“Just be more careful, asshole.”

Buck smiles, then checks out the windows of the truck before leaning in for a quick kiss. “I’ll try. Now we should get out unless you want everyone thinking we’re making out in here.”

Eddie hops out of the truck after Buck and if he sticks close to Buck for the rest of the shift, no one calls him on it.

*

Eddie lies back on Buck’s bed, one hand behind his head and one lazily stroking his dick as he watches Buck fuck himself on his own fingers. It’s one of the hottest things he’s ever seen, and every time it makes Eddie hard as a rock. Buck shifts, straddling Eddie’s thighs, and adds a third finger. _Jesus_ _Christ_.

“Buck. Baby, come on. Need to be inside you.”

Buck smirks at his whiny tone, then tosses a condom at his face. “Make yourself useful.”

“You’re so hot like this, baby.”

“Shut up,” Buck says, but he blushes, cheeks turning a pretty shade of pink.

Minutes later, Buck finally, _finally_ lines up and sinks down on Eddie’s dick. He’s done playing, immediately bottoming out and rocking his hips.

Skimming his palms up Buck’s thighs, he grips Buck’s ass and digs his heels into the mattress, easily matching Buck’s rhythm. Even after so many times together, Eddie can’t believe he’s here. He used to imagine this, alone in bed at night or in the shower, used to get off to thoughts of fucking Buck until neither of them could move. Reality is a million times better.

Buck bends to rest his hands on Eddie’s chest, changing the angle slightly and “Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ,” Eddie moans while Buck grinds atop him, mouth open and head hung low. “Not gonna last much longer.”

“Me—me neither,” Buck pants, then groans when Eddie wraps a fist around his dick, thumb grazing over the slit. A few strokes and Buck comes, spilling over Eddie’s hand and Eddie’s chest. “Oh, god.”

Eddie eases him through it until Buck swats his hand away, and the blissed-out look on Buck’s face sends Eddie’s orgasm ripping through him. Buck slumps against his chest, and Eddie runs a hand up and down his back. They’re a mess of lube and come and they should clean up, but for now Eddie’s content to lie here with Buck in his arms.

“Can you stay tonight?” Buck mumbles sometime later.

“Yeah. Chris is at Abuela’s.”

He’s been leaving Chris with Abuela a lot so he and Buck can have privacy and time for more than hand jobs and blowjobs, and she definitely suspects something. Eddie wonders how long they’ll keep doing the secrecy thing.

“Good. You make an excellent pillow.”

Laughing, Eddie presses a kiss to Buck’s temple and cheek and chin. Buck huffs at him and kisses him properly, cupping his cheek and licking into his mouth.

“We should shower,” Eddie says, gasping as Buck sucks bruises into his chest, because Buck loves to mark him but only where others can’t see, secret love bites only they know are there.

“I’m comfy right here,” Buck says.

“You won’t say that later when you have gross dried come everywhere. Come on.” Eddie slaps his ass, and Buck yelps indignantly. “If you’re good, I’ll blow you in the shower.”

“Should’ve said that first!” Buck calls over his shoulder.

He’s out of bed and halfway to the bathroom before Eddie scrambles after him and tackle-hugs him from behind, and Buck’s giggles light him up inside.

*

“Buck.”

He shakes his head and wordlessly climbs into the truck. Sighing, Eddie rubs his temples and gets in after Buck, sitting close beside him. He hates when Buck shuts down and he can’t figure out what’s going on in that beautiful head. It hasn’t happened recently, and Eddie understands what triggered it now—if anything’s gonna tip a first responder over the edge, it’s losing a baby on a call—but it _hurts_ seeing Buck withdrawn with that haunted look in his eye.

He nudges Buck’s knee with his and links their fingers together. Under the circumstances, he doesn’t believe anybody would point out them holding hands, but he still makes sure they’re hidden by the flap of his coat.

No one says anything on the way to the station, each lost in their own thoughts. Eddie quietly worries about Buck. When they pull into the station, people mill around instead of scattering like usual. This call affected all of them.

Buck stands silently, arms hanging down at his sides, a vacant look in his eyes. Eddie touches the back of Buck’s hand. Buck lets out a strangled sound that breaks Eddie’s heart and crashes into him, wrapping his arms around Eddie in a fierce hug. It’s awkward with their turnout gear still on, but Buck burrows close, tucking his face against Eddie’s neck. Hen gives him a look, and he’s sure everybody else is too.

“Sweetheart,” he says quietly, “everyone can see us.”

“Don’t care.”

All right. Guess they’re done with the secrecy thing. Ignoring Hen’s raised eyebrow, he grips the back of Buck’s neck and brushes an almost-kiss to his temple.

“It wasn’t your fault. We did everything we could.”

Buck sighs. “I know that logically. Heart doesn’t agree yet. Just need a few minutes.”

“Okay. I’ve got you.”

He wrestles their coats off and drops them on the floor, which is much better. He can hold Buck closer, feel his warmth and the steady beat of his heart, and gradually Buck stops clinging as tightly.

“Better?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

He kisses Buck’s forehead. “Come on. Let’s get changed. And then I suppose we’ll have to face everyone.”

Buck grimaces. “Or we can hide somewhere for the rest of our lives. They’re gonna give us so much shit.”

No doubt.

A few minutes later, after lingering in the locker room, Eddie steels himself and follows Buck upstairs. They sit on the couch, shoulders to thighs touching, amid an awkward silence, like everybody’s waiting for someone else to speak first.

Chimney breaks first, waving his fork between them. “So, how long has this been going on?” he asks.

“A few months,” Eddie answers.

“A little over five months to be more precise,” Buck says.

“Seriously? Y’all haven’t been sleeping together for, like, the last year and a half?” Hen raises both eyebrows, staring at them skeptically.

“Uh, no?”

Buck glances at him, and Eddie shrugs. He maybe thought about it, more than he should’ve.

The next 15 minutes are a embarrassing mix of teasing and interrogating and prying for details and holy shit, Eddie’s never been so happy to hear the alarm. Grinning, Buck sneaks a quick kiss before climbing into the truck. Shit. Eddie would gladly endure hours and hours of their friends razzing them if it meant Buck would keep smiling.

*

Eddie sets his phone on his stomach. No new messages. It should settle him, but it only makes him worry more. He glances up at a noise from the bathroom doorway. Buck leans against the doorjamb, forgotten toothbrush hanging from his mouth. It’s oddly adorable.

“What?” Buck mumbles around the toothbrush.

“You’re staring at me. And maybe spit before you choke on that thing?”

Buck blushes and ducks into the bathroom, then resumes his spot in the doorway and crosses his arms. His legs are stupidly long, his chest and arm muscles straining the fabric of his t-shirt. The slow once-over he gives Eddie sends heat flushing through him.

“I just like seeing you in my clothes,” Buck says, and Eddie flushes, self-consciously tugging at the too-long sleeves. He felt awkward at first, putting on Buck’s sleep pants and shirt, but if Buck is going to look at hime like _that_ , he’ll have to do it more often.

If he weren’t so exhausted from a long shift, that look would definitely get Buck laid. Instead, a yawn cracks his jaw. Buck’s gaze softens, and he straightens from the doorway and crawls onto the bed, flopping on top of Eddie. Eddie exaggerates a grunt and barely catches his phone from sliding onto the floor. He can’t help checking for messages, even though he knows he didn’t hear the text alert.

“Quit worrying,” Buck murmurs against Eddie’s neck.

“Can’t help it. It’s part of the dad DNA.” He skims a hand up and down Buck’s back, and Buck arches into the touch, humming softly.

“Chris’ll be fine. This isn’t his first sleepover.”

“It’s the first with this kid.” Eddie pauses. “What if he needs something?”

“Chris is a capable kid. If he needs anything, he’ll speak up.”

Eddie’s stomach flips over at Buck’s matter-of-fact and confident tone. He never treats Chris as less-than, and that’s one of his favorite things about Buck. The way they fit so perfectly together, the way Buck's face slots into the space between Eddie’s neck and shoulder is top of the list as well. But, fuck, he is _not_ going to examine that thought right now.

Buck props up on an elbow and smoothes a thumb over Eddie’s eyebrow and down his cheek. “You need to go to sleep and stop worrying.” He punctuates each word with a kiss to Eddie’s face.

Laughing, Eddie ducks away. “Okay, okay. Let me just—”

“Nope.” He snatches the phone out of his hands and drops it on the nightstand, reaching up to snap off the light. “It’s sleep time.”

Eddie’s too tired to argue, especially when Buck cuddles close and lightly scratches his nails across Eddie’s stomach. Buck had quickly learned that that relaxes him. Eddie yawns and closes his eyes, slipping a hand under Buck’s shirt to feel the warm skin of his back. He wishes they could have more nights like this.

They lounge in bed the next morning. Buck goes on one of his google [jags], tossing out random facts that Eddie only half listens to while he dozes on and off, head pillowed on Buck’s chest, Buck’s fingers combing through his hair. They’ll have to leave soonish to pick up Christopher, but for now he’s content to lie here and take advantage of a lazy morning.

“Hey, did you know du—”

Eddie surges up and cuts him off with a kiss. He intends to keep it light and playful, but Buck grips the back of his neck and tugs him closer, sucking on Eddie’s bottom lip. Rolling on top of Buck, he cups Buck’s face and deepens the kiss. He loves kissing Buck and he could do this for hours but when Buck shifts so their dicks slot together, he breaks away to pant against Buck’s jaw. Buck is hot and hard against him, even through the layers of fabric between them, and he feels so fucking good.

“Fuck.”

Buck laughs softly, sliding his hands into Eddie’s-but-really-Buck’s pajama pants to squeeze Eddie’s ass. “If we had more time, I’d fuck you,” Buck murmurs in his ear, then bites the lobe.

And yes. Shit. Why did they waste their morning doing nothing when Buck could’ve been doing _him_ instead?

“Jesus christ, Buck.”

Buck kisses him again and speeds up the roll of his hips, and Eddie clings to him, nails digging into his shoulders. Buck rubs a finger over his hole, and that’s all it takes. Eddie tenses and stills, coming in his pants. It’s somehow not as gross as it should be, because Buck is thrusting his hips up, heals pressed into the bed. He swears and moans Eddie’s name, and it’s incredibly hot, watching Buck fall apart like this.

It feels like an eternity before Eddie manages to move, flopping onto his back next to Buck. Buck entwines their fingers and kisses his palm, lingering for a long moment, and Eddie’s stomach lurches.

“Come on,” Buck says eventually. “Shower first, then breakfast, then we can pick up Chris. Do you think he’ll be too tired from his sleepover to go to the zoo?”

“He’d never pass up the zoo.” He stands and stretches, grimacing at the rapidly drying come in his pants. “We both know you’re gonna end up carrying him anyway.”

“I don’t mind.”

Buck grins at him and drags him toward the bathroom, and Eddie thinks _oh shit_.

He’s maybe a lot in love with Buck.

*

Buck’s in the kitchen with Christopher when Eddie gets home. He stands in the doorway for a minute, watching, heart clenching. Buck patiently helps Chris stir something on the stove. He loves how much Buck loves Chris. Maybe someday he’ll have the courage to actually tell Buck that.

After a few minutes, he rouses from his lean against the doorjamb and joins them at the stove.

“Hey,” he says, kissing the top of Christopher’s head and then Buck’s cheek.

“Hi!” Buck smiles brightly, but it dims when he gets a good look at Eddie. “You all right? Rough day?”

Eddie shakes his head and tries to peek at whatever’s in the pot, but Christopher elbows him away with a quick “It’s a surprise, Daddy!” He turns back to Buck, who’s staring worriedly at him.

“I’m fine, just tired. It was a long day.”

Buck searches his eyes for a long moment then nods. “Go sit on the couch. We’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

“I can help.”

“Eddie. You’re dead on your feet. Go sit.”

“Okay.”

He kisses Buck, lingering a minute, reveling in the fact that he can do this openly now that they’re…dating? He’s not sure. They haven’t talked about it. Whatever. It works for them. He settles on the couch, feet on the coffee table, and wakes up to Buck shaking his shoulder.

“Food’s ready. You up for eating?”

“Mm-hm.” But he doesn’t move, because Buck is running a hand through his hair, and it feels good, comforting.

“Dad! Buck!”

Sighing, Eddie lets Buck pull him up and into the kitchen.

They made him spaghetti, his secret favorite food, though he says it’s his abuela’s tamales. His heart kicks against his chest. He wishes he wasn’t so tired and could appreciate it more. He dredges up energy and enthusiasm from somewhere, though he must fail at selling it since Christopher and Buck keep exchanging looks.

“I think it’s your bedtime, Daddy,” Christopher tells him seriously.

Buck smirks, pressing his foot against Eddie’s. He protests but gives up quickly. He really is exhausted. He knows Buck will make sure Christopher finishes his homework and gets to bed on time.

He trudges down the hallway, forces himself to change and brush his teeth, and crawls under the covers. But now that he has the space to relax, he can’t. He stares at the ceiling. Flops side to side. Stares at the clock. Contemplates getting up to find Buck. He drags a hand over his face and closes his eyes. He feels the mattress dip and then Buck’s arms wrap around him from behind. Eddie scoots back so he’s flush against Buck.

“I figured you’d be asleep.”

“Can’t settle.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Buck strokes Eddie’s stomach, leaching some of the tension out of Eddie’s muscles.

“It wasn’t _bad_ , just long. Busy.”

“You smell like smoke.” He rubs his nose on the back of Eddie’s neck, and Eddie shivers.

“There was a fire at the end.” He showered at the station, but the smoke had embedded into his skin. “It was a good day, in a way. We didn’t lose anyone. There weren’t even any close calls. We just didn’t have much downtime. The alarm went off again as soon as we got back to the station.

“So you didn’t get time to decompress, to process between calls.”

“I guess.”

They fall silent. The warmth of Buck’s body surrounding him, the steady beat of his heart, even the tickle of his breath on the back of Eddie’s neck finally sooth Eddie enough that he feels sleep pulling at him.

*

“Are you pissed at me or something?” Eddie glances at Buck but doesn’t stop what he’s doing . “Because you haven’t talked to me since we got back from that call, and you’ve got a white-knuckle grip on that sponge.”

The mention of the last call makes Eddie clench his teeth, annoyance bubbling to the surface at Buck’s casual words. He very deliberately puts the sponge in the bucket and leans against the truck, crossing his arms.

“I just wish you’d be more careful.”

Buck’s jaw tightens, and he sighs. “We both know our job is dangerous.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to rush in without checking for a safety net.”

“ _You’re_ my safety net. We have each other’s backs, remember?”

“I can’t have your back if you run into a burning building without me.”

“It’s my _job_. We do this every day. Why are you getting bent out of shape now?”

“Because I love you!” he yells. His irritation falls away as that slow, almost shy, smile spreads across Buck’s face. “I don’t want to lose you,” he says more quietly.

“I’ll be more careful.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No. Probably not.”

Buck grins, crowding against him and cupping his jaw. Eddie’s hands drift to Buck’s hips, and he tilts his head up for Buck’s kiss. It’s soft and sweet and over too quickly.

“I love you too,” Buck murmurs against Eddie’s mouth.

Eddie kisses him again, feels Buck’s smile melt away as the kiss deepens and—

“All right, this is great and all, but we’re supposed to be working.”

Eddie glances up to find Bobby giving them his exasperated _not at the firehouse, we’ve talked about this_ look. Flushing, Eddie clears his throat and uncurls his fingers from where they were clutching Buck’s hips, but Buck’s smile is unrepentant. It settles something in Eddie, slightly dulls the worry that [pokes at] him every time they’re out on a call. He presses a quick kiss to Buck’s cheek before stepping away and picking up the sponge.

They’ll be okay, because they’ll be doing it together.


End file.
